Going Public

We are currently in the middle of our Big Questions series at CCM:City. Somebody asked us, ‘How do I tell my friends I am a Christian?’

This is a good question and a very important one. Bearing witness to what God has done in our lives is part of what it means to follow Jesus, and authenticity is a part of true friendship. Our faith should be part of our conversations that we have with our friends.

Whilst that is true, it can be easier said than done.

Telling our friends that we are a Christian will usually fit into one of the following categories.

A) You’ve been a Christian for a while and are making a new friend

This is probably the easiest situation to talk about the fact that you are a Christian. A new friendship will usually go through the ‘getting to know you’ stage where you discuss and explore the interests and values that make up one another’s lives.

There will usually be lots of opportunities in conversation to mention that you go to church, that you read your Bible or how your faith in Jesus helps you in life. When you do this it may also prompt your new friend to open up about their views on spiritual matters.

B) You’ve just become a Christian and have been friends for a while

There are a couple of ways to handle this one.

The best is to share the journey you are on even before you become a Christian. If you read something that gets you thinking, share how it has impacted you. If you decide to go to church for the first time, mention it. Talk about what you enjoyed. Talk about what you found strange. Talk about what doubts or questions you are working through. If you have shared the journey with someone, it will be natural to talk about the moment that you finally make the decision to commit to Jesus. Seeing your journey will probably be really helpful for your friend as well.

I didn’t do this. I explored faith on my own and with some Christian friends, but didn’t really talk about it to my non-Christian family or friends. After I became a Christian it was more difficult to tell them. With my family I decided to bite the bullet one Sunday morning by saying ‘I’m off to church, see you later’ and deal with the fall out later.

I must confess that I was worried that the reaction would be negative, but this worry proved unfounded. When you find hope and meaning in life, most people who care for you are happy, even if they don’t share your beliefs.

C) You’ve been a Christian for a while and you’ve been friends for a while (you’ve just never mentioned it).

This is definitely the hardest situation of the three.

When you have something that is important to you in life, but that is kept out of a friendship, then it will inevitably place a strain on your relationship with that friend.

It’s important to bring it up as soon as possible.

A few thoughts on how:

1) Try to make it natural. It’s not some big guilty secret that you need to confess. Arranging a big sit-down conversation to talk about it will probably seem weird.

2) Don’t go too small. Dropping in something like ‘as I was praying this morning…’ would probably confuse them if they don’t know you are a Christian. Set a bit of context ‘It’s never really come up before but I like to pray sometimes. When I was praying this morning…’ would make more sense.

3) Pray for an opportunity. Take some time out to ask God to give you an open goal for bringing it up with your friend.

4) Keep your eyes open for a good moment. When your are spending time with your friend, pay attention to what would seem like a natural moment to talk about things.

5) Perhaps introduce them to a Christian friend. Particularly if there’s someone who you think they would click with. It gives a great context for ‘I’ve been going to this church a bit recently, and I know Sally from there…’

6) Social media can help you. I am not advocating becoming really weird and overbearing in what you post, but mentioning your faith once in a while can be a good way to let your mates know what is going on with you.

There are a few of my thoughts. I’d love to hear what ideas or stories you have about telling your friends that you are a Christian.